Breaking The Habit
by melaniemelmelgirl
Summary: He didn't know what was worth fighting for. His feelings, his love, his emotions all collided as one as he desperately tried to confess his love to his one and only. 2 chapters only, S&S, short and sweet, R&R please! Based on the song by Linkin Park.


Breaking The Habit

By melaniemelmelgirl

Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura, nor do I own "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park.

Author's note: Well in the middle of writing Chapter 28 for Shattered Dreams, I was struck with inspiration for a new one shot! Normally I don't write these, but I just felt like I had to sit down and write this! I hope you all enjoy, and review if you'd like!

And just to clear up some things, Sakura and Syaoran are both 12, and just started dating 2 weeks ago. Syaoran is very confused, like in the lyrics to "Breaking the Habit", and I have used them to fit into this story.

Oh yea, I highly recommend "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park. It's my favorite song, and I'm listening to it right now for some "inspiration"! Enjoy!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again**

Syaoran sighed, and fell to the floor of his room.

The memories of the day's events consumed him, like opening a wound.

His family and friends all assumed that he was safe in his room, thinking about whatever it is that young Syaoran thought about.

Too bad they didn't know what his real thoughts were.

Why couldn't he say it?

Why?

_Why?_

He loved Sakura so much, yet he couldn't say it to her…

He couldn't say it…

_Couldn't say it…_

_Couldn't say how much he loved her…_

He was a loser.

The worst boyfriend ever.

A failure, an embarrassment to humanity.

**I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That i'm the one confused**

What kind of person couldn't even tell their own girlfriend _how much_ he loved her?

_How much_ he like being with her?

_How much _he wanted to be by her side?

Tears started falling down his face silently, as he trembled in sorrow and agony.

He didn't want to be the one the battles always choose, even thought he realized that he was the one confused.

This was such a bad habit of his….that he could barely talk around his girlfriend…and always turned bright red.

This was a bad habit of his, and it needed to be broken:

_Tonight…_

**I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight**

"Maybe I should call her…" he said to himself.

Yes, that's what he'd do!

He'd _call_ her!

And _tell her_ how he felt!

He picked up his phone, and excitedly dialed up Sakura's number.

'No turning back now' he thought.

"Hai, Kinomoto residence" Sakura's angelic voice said, over the phone.

"Uh…er..em…ah…oh…i….I…..I lo-"he tried to say.

"Hello? Is someone there?" Sakura inquired.

"Ehh…h…e….I ….oh…u….."…he stuttered.

"If no one is there, I'm hanging up now" Sakura said.

"I…no, WAIT!" Syaoran shouted.

"Huh? Syaoran? Is that you?" she asked.

"Wha-uh-no….WRONG NUMBER!" he shouted, slamming the phone back onto the receiver.

**Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I had no options left again**

He was sweating heavily, and panting, and the horror hit him-Sakura probably now thought that he was a **_jerk,_** a complete **_nobody_**, a **_freak_**.

"WHY?" he asked.

Why?

_Why?_

Why was he such a….nobody?

Why couldn't he do it?

WHY?

**I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause i'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends**

He didn't know what was worth fighting for, against his conscience, or against his heart.

His heart told him to go for it, but his conscience told him he might get hurt.

Again.

He beat on his walls, knowing that he was the one at fault.

And he was the one confused.

He didn't know why he instigated, said what he didn't mean.

'I don't know how I got this way, and it'll never be alright if I don't tell her."

Tightly locking his door, he tried to catch his breath again.

"Alright, I'm never going to fight again…I'll listen to my heart. This is how it'll end.

"Now I have some clarity, and I'll show her how much I love her."

"I'm breaking the habit, _tonight_."

With that, he grabbed his jacket and ran out of his house to pay a visit to Sakura.

No way could he back down now…he got himself stuck in this mess, he could get himself out of it.

**I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
To show you what I mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
Breaking the Habit  
Tonight**

He ran faster and faster down the streets separating his house from Sakura's.

It seemed that those few streets seemed to stretch out longer and longer as he ran, sweat drenching his bright red face.

'Why do those streets seem so long tonight? Normally I want them to be longer when Sakura and I take walks, but WHY now and not then' he thought angrily.

Slowly, but steadily, he made his way to Sakura's house.

Slowly, but steadily, he would tell her the truth…

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay I think I'm actually going to divide this one-shot into a 2 part thingy, k? I'll post the next chapter as soon as I have time. And yes, I'm back from Germany! So yes, you can review me to say how much you missed me ahaha. :D Later! Luve, melaniemelmelgirl


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